Windsor Family Values

But that’s so unfair! Why do you get to be a Scout and hang out with Kate while I keep getting rejected?

One is trying so very hard not to laugh, but one still cannot believe that cousin Harry has managed to be more embarrassing than one’s mother (this week, at least).

Kate!! Hey, Kate!! Over here, Kate! It’s me, Beatrice! Hiiiiiii!!

As one gets older, one finds it increasingly difficult to pretend that one loves all one’s grandchildren equally. 

Goodness, you’re right, that is Beatrice. She must be following me again.

The champagne breakfast was clearly a mistake. Charles, Camilla, pull yourselves together. 

Before you criticize one’s lack of princessly elegance, please take into consideration the fact that one was wasted off one’s royal arse. Seriously, one would like to see you alight gracefully from a car wearing a ballgown while the floor is spinning and you’re seeing double. 

Overserved.

Hey, Kate, call me maybe?

One doesn’t care what the  Order of Precedence says, one is going to keep curtsying to Kate whenever one can because she’s just so cool!!

Come on, Mummy, you know you mustn’t go over there. Granny only agreed to let you come if you promised not to go within 25 feet of her.

Now Sophie, I’ll tell you the same thing I told Beatrice: Just because everyone loves Kate doesn’t mean they don’t love you too.

Beatrice, sit back down, Kate doesn’t want you following her to the toilet.

Oh. Em. Gee. Brilliant, Granny, just brilliant! But how did you get Beatrice to do that?