Windsor Family Values

Dear Lorne, 

One word: afterparty!

Think about it…

Harry

Dear Lorne, 

One doesn’t want to bring up what one assumes is a sore subject, but Paris Hilton hosted an episode: How hard can it be?

Harry

Dear Lorne, 

Hypothetically, one might be able to roll a mean joint, which, allegedly, would come in handy in the SNL writers’ room.

Hypothetically. And allegedly.

Dear Lorne, 

Another reason one would be a great fit for your show? One is not afraid to take a risk and try something “edgy” or “inappropriate” in the name of comedy. Even if it turns out that the “comedy” thus effected is not so much funny as it is offensive. 

Harry

Dear Mr. Michaels,

As you may know, One has given young Henry permission to visit America again this spring. One would be much obliged if you would let him host your program whilst he is there, as One is quite certain he will get into less trouble hosting a live television program than he would were he left to his own devices on the streets of Manhattan. This is One’s wish and One’s command. 

Your ever loving Anointed Sovereign 

ERII

Dear Lorne, 

Another plus? You won’t find any nudity clauses in one’s contract.

Harry

Dear Lorne,

One is not afraid of a tough audience —in fact, one has some experience in that area.

Harry

Dear Lorne, 

You know how they say the best comedians come from difficult childhoods? And perhaps you are familiar with one’s family?

Harry

Dear Lorne, 

Perhaps you are worried that one’s “stiff upper lip” and rigid sense of Royal propriety might get in the way of one’s hosting duties. Never fear! One can always be counted upon to fart if it will get the laugh.

Harry

Dear Lorne, 

Has one mentioned that one is able to make quick costume changes? Wherever, whenever, no dressing room required.

Harry

Dear Lorne, 

One is never afraid of making other people uncomfortable if it’s funny.

Harry

Dear Lorne, 

It occurs to one that you may be worried about one’s abiilty to obtain Royal Permission to host the show. Please don’t trouble yourself on that account: Less than a year after one was photographed naked in Vegas, one has talked Granny into letting one jet back to the US to visit the Jersey Shore (residence of Snooki, Pauly D., Jwoww and Vinny).

Harry

Dear Lorne, 

One is not afraid to make an arse of oneself. Especially in the name of comedy.

Harry

Dear Lorne, 

One is also happy to dress in drag. 

Harry